hate

i think its funny how
after all this time
after all this change
i can still hate you

i can still hate you
like it were yesterday

i can still hate you like
i can still see the blue lights flashing
i can still hear the neighbors knocking
i can still feel my heart breaking.

i can still hate you
with every fibre of my soul
and with every fibre of my soul you reside.

you wont go
you wont leave

i cant escape.

you broke me
and whats broken
is never fully fixed

locked in your hands
your eyes and your heart
is a piece of me
and for that

i can still hate you.

Forever.

I have something.
You can't see it.
You can't touch it.
I have, a question.

My question for you does not require an answer,
not yet.

Forever.
Forever Friends.
Forever yours.
Forever alone.

What is forever,
and when does it end?

When you die does it all just,
stop.

Control.
Controlling your life
Controlling your death.

Is what is forever in living
too, what is forever in dying.

Am I yours,
and you mine,
truly
forever?

The Fight.

Fighting.
Constant fighting
Always battling.
Nothing comes easy
Not anymore anyway.

Lonely.
Lonely but never alone.
You're always there
Always in the corner of my brain
in the corner of my life
Controlling.
Pulling and pushing.

It's you.
Its you I fight.
But aren't you me?
You're in my head
in my thoughts
in my life
You are me
So why so hard

Go away
Far far away
I'm tired
too tired to fight
not anymore

I'm done.

I didn't know.

A new love
a true love
the only love

right under my nose
or just next door
or across the hall
and across the floor

in front of me
just behind me
beside me
always, beside me

why am i surprised they say
it was going to happen some day

it seems
everybody but me
everybody but you
they one thing they all knew

i am
i always
i will forever
be in love with you.